Funny Short Redneck Jokes!

Short Redneck Jokes

Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!

Q: What do you call a virgin in Kentucky?
A: A girl who can out run her Brothers...

Q: What's the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral.

Q: What do you call a redneck who has a dog and a cat?
A. Bisexual.

Q: What is a redneck's definition of weather?
A: Relative humidity.

Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?
A: There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you tell the Groom at a Nebraska wedding?
A: He's the hick in the clean bowling shirt

Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow?
A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

Q: Who has the right of way any time?
A: The car with gun rack and bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do."

Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Q: What does a redneck say before he gets injured?
A: "Watch this!"

Q: Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.

Q: Why did O. J. Simpson decide to move to Nebraska?
A: Cos everybody got the same DNA

Q: How do you castrate a hill billy?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw!

Q: Why aren't rednecks circumcised?
A: They need a place to put the tobacco when they shower.

Q: Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff?
A: He wanted to test out his new air brakes.

Q: What do you call a redneck with a third grade education?
A: Professor

Q: What does X X X stand for?
A: 3 rednecks co-signing a note.

Q: What greeting card is unique to a Redneck? "
A: Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad"

Q: How do you know when your staying in a Redneck hotel?
A: When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink", and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."

Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

Q: Why do rednecks like the doggie position?
A: That way they can both watch wrestling.

Q: How do rednecks fish?
A: With dynamite

Q: Why don't they teach sex education to rednecks?
A: The farm animals can't handle it.

Q: What does a 13 year old girl from Tennessee say after sex?
A: " Git offa me, daddy, you're crunching my cigarettes!

Q: Why do True RedNecks Wear Button Fly Jeans?
A: Because sheep can hear zippers!!

Q: Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Tenessee burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q: How do you get 12 rednecks into a phone booth?
A: Tell 'em it's free phone sex

Q: What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?
A: On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

Q: How do you get a hillbilly out of a bathtub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.

Q: How's a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

Q: How does a redneck take a bubblebath?
A: He farts in a puddle.

Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.

Q: What do you call a basement full of farmers?
A: A whine-cellar

Q: What is a Redneck's defense in court?
A: "Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Q: Why did God invent armadillos?
A: So that rednecks can have 'possum on the half shell.

Q: What do rednecks call duct tape?
A: Chrome.

Q: Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Arkansas State Lottery?
A: The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

Q: How do you know you're at a Redneck wedding?
A: Everybody is sittin on the same side of the church

Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Q: Why are there no fly swatters in Kentucky?
A: It's against the law to kill the State Bird

Q: What's a level headed redneck?
A: One with shit coming out BOTH ears.

Q: What do they call "Hee Haw" in Oklahoma?
A: A documentary.

Q: What is a Redneck's defense in court?
A: "Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

Q: "What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
" A: Nice tooth!

Q: What do call 5 sheep tied to a post in Arkansas?
A: The leisure center

Q: What's smarter than a smart redneck?
A: A dumb hillbilly.

Q: What do they call it in Kentucky?
A: "Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

Q: What's a Rednecks idea of foreplay?
A: Hey sis, get in the back of the truck..

Q: What's the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A: A northern girl says you can and a southern girl says you all can.