Short Men Jokes 2 Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are men like paper cups? A: Both are dispensable. Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease? A: Because they're all pigs. Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common? A: They are both empty from the head up. Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q: What is a man’s idea of helping out with housework? A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. Q: How do men exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q: What do men and mascara have in common? A: They both run at the first sign of emotion. Q: What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? A: Telling you his real name. Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: They’re intended for children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! Q: What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A: His wife is good at picking out clothes. Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A widow. Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A: Shoot him again. Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: How is a man like a snowstorm? A: You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover, and a stimulating partner? A: In the pages of a romance novel. Q: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? A: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time. Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? A: Because they are... Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares? Q: Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? A: He had it bronzed. Q: Why do little boys whine? A: Because they're practicing to be men. Q: What is the difference between a man and a catfish? A: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish. Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in. Q: What is the difference between men and women... A: Woman want one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? A: Two ways to cross a river. Q: How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? A: At the circus the clowns don't talk. Q: How can you tell soap operas are fictional? A: In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. Q: Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men? A: No phone numbers. Q: What do you call a man with half a brain? A: Gifted. Q: Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover? A: He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? A: His body. Q: Why do men prefer BMW's over Chevrolets? A: It's easier to spell. Q: What do you call a woman without an asshole? A: Single. Q: Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down. Q: What is gross stupidity? A: 144 men in one room. Q: What's the difference between men and alley cats? A: Men are taller. Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? A: Exchange him! Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? A: Make him wear shoes. Q: What's a good way to keep a man interested? A: Wear perfume that smells like beer. Q: Why won't a man make a commitment? A: He's afraid he'd have to share his beer and pretzels. Q: Why did the football hero flunk his American Literature Exam? A: He thought Moby Dick was a kind of venereal disease. Q: A man died from drinking fresh milk, what happened? A: The cow sat down.
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| Blonde Jokes |
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| Yo Mama Jokes |
| Yo Mama Is Like |
| Yo Mama So Dark |
| Yo Mama So Fat |
| Yo Mama So Hairy |
| Yo Mama So Old |
| Yo Mama So Poor |
| Yo Mama So Short |
| Yo Mama So Skinny |
| Yo Mama So Stupid |
| Yo Mama So Tall |
| Yo Mama So Ugly |
