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Short Marriage Jokes Q: The difference between marriage and death? A: Dead people are free. Q: What kind of institution is Marriage? A: One where a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Q: When is it okay to Love thy neighbor? A: When her husband is away on business! Q: If love is 'grand', what is divorce? A: A hundred grand, or more. Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage? A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener! Q: What is the ideal marriage? A: One between a deaf man and a blind woman Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player? A: Because love means nothing to them! Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage? A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't. What do men hope for? A: That women won't change, but they do! Q: Who is the perfect husband? A: One who keeps his mouth shut and his checkbook open! Q: How hard is it to lose a wife? A: Nowadays its almost impossible! Q: Marriage is what kind of sport? A: One where the trapped animal has to buy the license! Q: Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl? A: One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father! Q: What does marriage do? A: Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Q: What kind of process is Marriage? A: A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Q: Which one of your children will never grow up and move away? A: Your husband! Q: Why doesn't a husband tell his wife everything? A: What she doesn't know won't hurt him. Q: Whats the definition of a happy marriage? A: One where the husband gives and the wife takes. Q: How do you tranfer funds even faster than electronic banking? A: By getting Married! Q: When another man steals your wife, what's your best revenge? A: Let the sorry bastard keep her! Q: What is the difference between 'sex-for-money' and 'sex-for-free'? A: 'Sex-for-free' always ends up costing more. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work. Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot. Q: How is marriage different than most wars? A: it's the only war where you sleep with the enemy. Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog. A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. |
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