Short Clean Jokes 2 Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty! Q: What happens to cows during an earthquake? A: They give milk shakes! Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends! Q: Why did the teacher jump into the lake? A: Because she wanted to test the waters! Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A: He was to chicken. Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A: A Slipper. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew! chew!" Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A: A Clausterphobic Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Nacho Cheese Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I better not tell you, it might spread. Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves! Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? A: Neither, they both weigh a ton! Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut. Q: Why did the child study in the airplane? A: He wanted a higher education! Q: What type of star is dangerous? A: A shooting star! Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places! Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck! Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head! Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog. Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: Sit next to their fans. Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? A: Because they dropped out of school! Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits! Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office! Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don't worry, I've got you covered! Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What kind of key opens a banana? A: A monkey! Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I'm coming down with something! Q: What do you call a bear without an ear? A: B Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q: What is the only type of dog that knows what time it is? A: A watch dog! Q: Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? A: The retail store! Q: What does a grape say when it gets smushed? A: Nothing -- it just lets out a little wine! Q: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? A: He sensed fowl play. Q: How do elephants talk to each other? A: On the elephone. Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed? A: Because your nose touches the ceiling! Q: If a whole nation drove pink cars what would it be? A: A Pink Car-Nation! Q: What do you find in the middle of nowhere? A: The letter "h"! Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up? A: A township Q: What do you get when you cross a library and an elf? A: A shhh....elf! Q: What has holes but never spills water? A: A sponge! Q: What do you get when you cross sneeze and a punchline? A: A sick joke. Q. On your way home you take a right and three lefts then you see two men in masks. Who are those men? A. They are the umpire and the catcher. Q: What did one wall say to the other? A: Meet you at the corner Q: How do you communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line! Q: What does a shark eat with peanut butter? A: Jellyfish! Q: Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel? A: Because he had a big bill! Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear! Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights! Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A: Sneakers. Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A: A sour puss! Q: What can you hold without ever touching it? A: A conversation. Q: What clothes does a house wear? A: Address. Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? A: A pork chop. Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile? A: A cartoon. Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A: Pilgrims. Q: Where do germs go on vacation? A: To Germany. Q: What do you call a guy with a spear? A: Lance Q: What do you call a guy with many spears? A: Lancelot Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by it's diameter? A: Pumpkin Pie Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny! Q: What country makes you shiver? A: Chile. Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? A: A pork chop. Q: Who has the right of way any time? A: The car with gun rack and bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do." Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? A: Regular rocks are too heavy. Q: Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? A: Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court! Q: Why did the tomato blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing... Q: Why didn't the teacher believe the ghost? A: Because she could see right through him. Q: Which is faster, heat or cold? A: Heat, because you can catch a cold. Q: What's the difference between a conductor and a teacher? A: One minds the train, the other trains the mind. Q: Why did the farmer win the nobel prize? A: He was out standing in his field. Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? A: Nah, I won't tell you, you might spread it. Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones. Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes? A: No Eye Dear.
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| Long Jokes |
| Animal Jokes |
| Bar Jokes |
| Blonde Jokes |
| Dirty Jokes |
| Little Johnny Jokes |
| Marriage Jokes |
| Medical Jokes |
| Old Age Jokes |
| Political Jokes |
| Redneck Jokes |
| Yo Mama Jokes |
| Yo Mama Is Like |
| Yo Mama So Dark |
| Yo Mama So Fat |
| Yo Mama So Hairy |
| Yo Mama So Old |
| Yo Mama So Poor |
| Yo Mama So Short |
| Yo Mama So Skinny |
| Yo Mama So Stupid |
| Yo Mama So Tall |
| Yo Mama So Ugly |
