Funny Short Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: Why did the blonde chick do the Spanish guy?
A: Because her teacher told her to do an essay.

Q: How do erase a blondes memory?
A: Blow in her ear!

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: How do you get a blonde to fall out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: A blonde and a brunette are falling down a cliff - who lands first?
A: The brunette - the blonde had to ask for directions

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common?
A: Both contain a cockpit

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.

Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.

Q: What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A: Collecting her thoughts.

Q: What's worse than a brunette trying to build a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to burn it down.

Q: Why did the blonde go to church?
A: Because they heard there was a naked man hanging around.

Q: What does a blonde think when she eats a pickle?
A: poor toad.....

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brain?
A: A golden retriever.

Q: How do a blonde's brain cells die?
A: They die alone.

Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: How many blonde's does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: Whats black, and blue, and lies in a ditch ?
A: A brunette, who has told too many blonde jokes !

Q: What does a blonde wear around her ankles to keep her warm?
A: Her Panties

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.

Q: What do you call 3 blondes in the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles!!

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: By doing the splits.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
A: You don't lend the Merc out to your friend.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: So there's a smart blonde, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus surrounding a dollar bill. Who picks it up?
A: Nobody, none of them exist!!!

Q: What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes

Q: What do you call a blond with half a brain?
A: Gifted

Q: 2 how does a blonde try to kill a bird
A: Drop it off of the top of a cliff

Q: How do you tell if a blonde was in the fridge?
A: Red rings on the cucumbers.

Q: How did the blonde die during the baseball game?
A: She drowned during the wave.

Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A translator

Q: What do you call 50 blondes standing side-by-side?
A wind tunnel

Q: How do you know when a blonde is on her period?
A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q: What does Star Trek's Dr. Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space, The final frontier........

Q: There are 17 blondes standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?
A: The Hide-and-Seek World Champion of 1973.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle?
A dope ring.

Q: Why did the blonde like the car with the adjustable steering wheel?
A: More head room.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's

Q: Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A: Because they have blonde boyfriends.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: How do you keep a blond in suspense?
A: Will tell you the answer tomorrow.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.

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